Our Stories - Part of mine

I’m looking forward to being home in Belfast in a few weeks time for this year’s 4 Corners Festival. For many years now this has been a high point in my year as I not only get to spend time back home, but I also get to participate in some fabulous events that challenge me to reflect more deeply on what it means to live as a follower of Jesus Christ.

The theme for this year’s festival, Our Stories, is one I’m looking forward to exploring. It’s also caused me to reflect on my own story ahead of the festival.

This year will mark my 32nd year of living in the United States. As much as I’ve built a home, a life, and family here, Northern Ireland is still the place I feel most at home. So how did I end up here? This is part of my story.

The church had a lot to with it. Specifically the Presbyterian Church in Ireland (PCI). In 1991 I was invited to attend Union College in Belfast and begin studying to become a minister in the PCI. In September of that year I moved into my room and began attending class. On the one hand it wasn’t at all what I’d expected, on the other hand it was exactly what I expected.

In late September I put up a notice on the bulletin board advertising an event at Corrymeela, a peace and reconciliation community founded by the PCI minister, Rev. Ray Davey. Within an hour someone had defaced it, and by the end of the day it had been torn down. I put up another and it also disappeared. A lot of Presbyterians in Ireland don’t do peace and reconciliation, apparently they missed that part of Jesus teaching.

This was further highlighted for me when over dinner one of the other students shared that his brother-in-law had been murdered a few years prior by the IRA. After listening to the story I asked him what forgiveness meant in that context, after all preaching forgiveness is a key element of the gospel and Jesus did say, “if you forgive others when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive you.” It felt like a reasonable question of someone becoming a minister. The words, “Don’t you ever ask me to forgive them!” Came from his mouth as he lunged across the table at me, several other students restraining him. I left wondering how he could ever preach forgiveness.

I’ve always had a passion for justice and picked up a couple of great posters highlighting some of the world’s injustices to hang on my wall. Another student came into my room and told me to take them down immediately. I played dumb and asked him if he disagreed with them. He didn’t. His problem was that I’d got them from Trócaire, an Irish Catholic charity. No room for other Christians. I heard people complaining about having to go to the Methodist seminary for some New Testament classes, because their orthodoxy was suspect!

When the opportunity came at the end of my first year to move to the United States and work in youth ministry for a couple of years I jumped at it. At the end of that time I was planning to head back to Belfast to finish my theological education, but I made a last minute decision to finish it at Luther Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota.

On my next trip home I was summoned to meet with the gatekeepers of PCI at Church House. They were none too happy about my decision. I assume they didn’t like that they couldn’t control my learning. My memory is that these ministers were angry and lacked any grace as they lectured me on all they believed PCI had done for me and then they demanded their money back from my first year of education. They more than confirmed that I had made the better decision by staying in the States.

I certainly miss Belfast. I often wonder what contribution I might have made there had I stayed, or would I have simply burned out?

That’s part of my story. That’s one reason I’m an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (USA) and not the Presbyterian Church in Ireland. I have some great friends who stayed in the PCI and have had a big impact on the culture, it has not been an easy road for them to travel.

Our Stories matter, I look forward to hearing more at this year’s 4 Corners Festival.